Miami Cops Get Stylish New Look

Miami, FL - Miami's first openly gay Mayor, Ronaldo "Buddy" Diaz, announced on Tuesday that the entire Miami/Dade police force would soon be taking off their clothes. Every officer in the department will be switching from their very traditional black uniform to a look taken directly from the hit '80's police drama, "Miami Vice."
Mayor Diaz explained, "Well, the biggest reason that we are making the switch from those drab old traditional uniforms to ones that are inspired by "Crocket and Tubbs" (the two main characters from Miami Vice) is that it gives our officers a more casual look, which is much less threatening to the millions of tourists that come to our city every year. We want our visitors to feel like Miami is someplace a little different, not just any other city in the U.S. of A. If they do happen to see a cop chasing a bad guy across a crowded beach, we want them to think, "Hey, am I on TV?" not, "Holy cow, I'm I going to get shot!"
Most of the officers we talked to were excited about the uniform change as well. Officer Burt Pennywhistle, who patrols the North Miami Beach area, was thrilled. "Man, its' gonna be so cool, literally! Wearing black trousers on the beach, in the middle of a Florida summer is about the cruelest act of torture a government can demand of its' police force. I can't wait to get my casual Versace white blazer and peach linen pants. I don't care what the Chief says, I can run just as fast in a pair of slip-on boat shoes as I can in my standard-issue Hush Puppies."
Indeed, in order to appease the top brass of the idea, officers were put through a barrage of tests to make certain that the new uniforms would not compromise their duties. Officers were made to run five miles in their new Top-Sider loafers, as well as prove that they could retrieve their guns and fire as quickly from the new armpit holsters. Even veteran officers were forced to run the entire cadet obstacle course to make sure the new blazers and rolled up pants didn't get caught on fences and other impediments, during a chase. Each officer also underwent strenuous peripheral vision tests with their new white Ray-Ban Wayfarer sunglasses, which will replace the standard issue mirrored aviator style glasses.
But the Miami/Dade Chief of Police, Norm Ironside, is still not in love with the new look and thinks that would-be criminals are not going to take the officers as seriously when confronted. "I just don't think that a robber is gonna give the same respect to an officer wearing pink pants and a five o'clock shadow." Said a gruff Chief Ironside. "Plus, the dry cleaning bill for these new clothes is gonna be outrageous."
Still, Mayor Diaz and his staff are convinced that even with the added laundry costs for the new uniforms, the move will help improve tourism dramatically. "We've done our research." Told an exuberant Diaz. "In places like Germany, reruns of Miami Vice have enjoyed top-ratings since it was sadly taken off the air in 1989. Germans, The Irish, The Saudis even, these people all love "Miami Vice" as much as I do, and are big spenders when they come on vacation. We want that money to stay here in Miami and not go up to Disney World or some other place." Explained an overly chipper Diaz. "Its' going to be fabulous." He added zestfully.
We asked Mayor Diaz if the Miami/Dade squad cars will be replaced with white Ferrari Testarossas, or if the officers will be given million dollar sailboats to live on, to complete the "Miami Vice" ensemble. He had this to say, " I Wouldn't rule it out as a possibility for future episodes, err, budget talks."

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UK and INDONESIA

SEMUANYA  KEREN!!!

GAMBARNYA  BAGUS - BAGUS  DAN  INDAH !!   BANGET!

I  LOVE ENGLAND

 

B U T.....

 

SPOOF TEXT

Contoh, Defenisi dan Struktur. ;)

DEFINISI SPOOF TEXT

 

Spoof Text adalah sebuah teks yang berisi tentang humor meski sebagian teksnya sudah dimodifikasi dari aslinya.

 

Generic Structure (Susunan Umum) dalam spoof text adalah :

1. Orientation => berisi pengenalan tokoh, latar, setting dll.
2. Events => berisi peristiwa atau kejadian
3. Twist => ending cerita  atau akhir cerita yang dianggap lucu, dan kadang tidak terduga
    
   CONTOH SPOOF TEXT :
   
   

   ABSENCE
   Joe's Mother got angry because her son got a low mark on English test.

   "Why did you get such a low mark on that test?" Asked mother angrily. Asked by his angry mother, Joe just kept silent and went out.

   A few moment, Joe came back home and met his mother again. His mother asked the same question. Joe answered steadily, "Because of absence."

   "You mean you were absent on the day of the test?" Mother wondered.

   Joe replied, "No, but the kid who sits next to me was."
   
   

   
   SAM TING WONG

   Jacky Wong got married with Lia Wong. Both of them had a white skin and straight hair. They are really a well-matched couple.

   One year later, Wong family got a new baby. A nurse brought them a son with curly hair and a black skin.
   The nurse congratulated and said, "What name will you give to this son?"
   With a confused face, Jacky Wong grumbled, "Sam Ting Wong!"

The Necklace

    Mathilde Loisel was one of those pretty and charming girls born,and she let herself be married off to a little clerk in the Ministry of Education. One evening her husband came home with a large envelope in his hand, an invitation card:

"The Minister of Education and Madame Ramponneau request the pleasure of the company of Monsieur and Madame Loisel at the Ministry on the evening of Monday, January the 18th."

Instead of being delighted, she flung the invitation petulantly across the table, murmuring.

"Why, darling, I thought you'd be happy. You never go out, and this is a great occasion."

She looked at him out of furious eyes, and said impatiently: "And what do you suppose I am to wear at such a party?"

Her husband had not thought about it. But soon he had bright idea and exclaimed "Why don't you go and see Madame Forestier and ask her to lend you some jewels. "

She uttered a cry of delight. "That's true. I never thought of it."

Next day she went to see her friend. Madame Forestier went to her dressing-table, took and opened a large box. Her heart began to beat covetously. She discovered a superb diamond necklace. Her hands trembled as she lifted it. She fastened it round her neck, upon her high dress, and remained in ecstasy at sight of herself.

The day of the party arrived. She was the prettiest woman present, elegant, graceful, smiling, and quite above herself with happiness. All the men stared at her, inquired her name, and asked to be introduced to her. She left the party about four o'clock in the morning. Arriving at home, She took off the clothes. But suddenly she uttered a cry. The necklace was no longer round her neck. So her husband returned to the party to find the necklace but he had found nothing. His face lined and pale. "You must write to your friend," he said, "and tell her that you've broken the clasp of her necklace and are getting it mended. That will give us time to work and get money to replace the necklace"

She came to know the heavy work. She washed the plates, dirty linen, the shirts and dish-cloths, and hung them out to dry on a string. Every morning she took the dustbin down into the street and carried up the water, stopping on each landing to get her breath. She went to the fruiterer, to the grocer, to the butcher, a basket on her arm, haggling, insulted, fighting for every wretched halfpenny of her money. While her husband worked in the evenings at putting straight a merchant's accounts, and often at night he did copying at twopence-halfpenny a page. This life lasted ten years and they had enough money to to buy and replace the necklace.

She went to meet Madame Forestier.

"You remember the diamond necklace you lent me?. Actually I lost it"

"How could you? Why, Well, you meet me to return the necklace now?"

"Yes, I bring you another necklace just like it. And for the last ten years we have been working hard for it. You realise it wasn't easy for us; we had no money. Well, it's paid for at last, and I'm glad indeed."

Madame Forestier smiled in proud and innocent happiness. She deeply moved and said;

"Oh, my poor Mathilde! But mine was imitation. It was only worth at five hundred francs!"

Horseman In The Sky

 

Carter Druse was born in Virginia. He was a southerner. When the United States was divided by a terrible civil war, Carter decided to join the Union Army of the north.

He told his father about his decision to join the north army. His father looked deep into his son's eyes. "Carter, No matter what happens, be sure you always do what you think is your duty."

One sunny afternoon, Carter was sent to guard. It was his duty to be sure that no enemy soldier spied on. Suddenly, he saw a man on horseback standing on the huge rocky cliff. He held a gun in his right hand, and the horse's reins in the other. Unavoidably, Carter pointed his gun. Carter was calm as he pulled the trigger.

Soon after firing his gun, Carter was joined by a Union sergeant.

"Did you fire?" The sergeant whispered.

"Yes."

"At what?" The sergeant continued.

"A horse"

"Was there anyone on the horse?" The sergeant asked again.

"Yes."

"Who? " The sergeant kept asking.

"My father

The Perfect Husband

 

This is another example of spoof text. This story is funny, humorous, and twisting. The story has unpredictable ending through organizing the tricky plot. Take a look!

The Perfect Husband?

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes"

WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's

only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2007

models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$80,000."

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"

MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know whose phone is???!!!"

TOP

 

My mother just turned 35 years old, but she already has a lot of gray in her hair, and therefore he wanted to buy hair dye. But because the job is pretty much at the office, so she sent a messenger to the office boy so.

"Mang Ujang, please buy a hair paint black or brown" she said.

Mang Ujang then replied, "Yes, madam. Wait a minute".

"Okay! Well, its brand TOP!" her continued.

 A few moments later, Mang Ujang came to bring a pack of "TOP-WAFER" with full chocolate.
My mother forget that Mang Ujang was "senile"  

That Phone is Off

Soon after he left college, Dave found one of his uncles who was very rich and had no children of his own died and left him a lot of money, so he decided to set up his own real estate agency.

Dave found a nice office. He bought some new furniture and moved in. he had only been there for e few hours when he heard someone coming toward the door of his office.

“It must be my first customer” Dave thought. He quickly picked up the telephone and pretended to be very busy answering an important call from someone in New York who wanted to buy a big and expensive house in the country.

The man knocked at the door while this was going on. He came in and waited politely for Dave to finish his conversation on the phone. Then the man said to Dave; “I am from the telephone company and I was sent here to connect your telephone”

Notes on the Spoof’s Generic Structure

Orientation: Dave was a lucky man. He suddenly became a very rich man because of the death of his rich uncle who had no children. He inherited his uncle’s money.

Event 1: Being rich, he wanted to set up his estate company

Event 2: He had his new office. In his office, he pretended to be a very successful businessman. He acted as had an important client. He showed by making conversation on the phone.

Twist: The man whom he showed is a telephone technician. He came to Dave’s office to connect that phone.